rituals can be fun

recently i started taking an ecourse
with called uplevelling your life
with the fabulous christine kane.

let me tell you. it has challenged me
in ways i didn’t even imagine it would.
i thought it would be just another self help
thing i tried and it “wouldn’t work for me”.

(**now i am not slamming any of the wonderful resources
i have bought, i just firmly believe it is all about timing
with inner work. clearly, the time was off, so i save them
to pull out when i can more clearly engage with
the systems**)

so back to the uplevel course.
you’d think i would just go along
doing everything perfectly and being
27 days in: feel really great, find i complain
less, have my positive scripts in place,
have good daydream-y moments, etc…
all things christine teaches you.

it didn’t happen exactly like that, i
will tell you how it really went down.
got the course.
very excited.
then i got scared.
then i didn’t go near it for about
a week. i was pre-intimidated.

*mind you christine is one of the most gracious,
firm teachers around, so there is really nothing to
fear. she is gentle and also believes you need to
get a nudge. she does it in the cool way though.
no muss. just puts things out there and lets them
simmer. SO the fact i was nervous, was completely
mel doing freak out pattern!

after that i slowly started listening to
the daily lessons. many times i would
try to take on a few in a row. usual mel style!
it then became clear that i was going to
have to use this one different to create
any REAL change. it has to be mel and the uplevel.
i noticed one totally cool thing, i can hear “me” better.
i am paying attention to my thoughts.
i hear when i complain.
i hear when i am grateful.
i hear when i need to do something for me.
i hear when i am hooking.
i hear when i am going into default patterns.
(that is a way challenging thing i face pretty much daily)

all this to say, it is slow going.
becoming clear in my everyday thoughts.
especially since i tend to keep all sorts
of mental busy with ‘junk’
i am enjoying the journey.