reframing fear.

this post is inspired by a thought posed by Kate in ‘The Courageous Year”:

so this weekend had some pretty bleak moments in it.

not saying this to garner any sort of ‘feel-bad-for-me’ feelings.

more to preface what is going through my mind.

basically, i had a total crash. split wide open

and pour out the rawest emotions I have felt in a very long time.

you see, i don’t often share in my day to day life how i feel

because i feel fear of “being known”, that when someone knows me it

will make them leave.

this is an old story.

one that i am not into hanging on to anymore.  it plays out in my head

often, i used to think it was true.  now i think it is BS.

before you think that i am all rah-rah, i’m so great and everyone loves me;

that is so not the case either.

what IS happening is that i am seeing what’s true.

i have these thoughts.  they are fueled by fear.  fear wants to keep me safe.  fear is not bad but it can keep me stuck.  being true is the only way i want to live. i am free (which is on my wrist in my tattoo in case i forget!).  i want “new stories”. dropping the “old ones” seem scary because they feel a part of me.  they aren’t.  i am more than my stories.

I AM ME.

I guess I am saying…i’m letting myself off the hook.  Daily.  Knowing that even if the feelings don’t match up.

Here is what I want you to know from my heart to yours: At the end of the day, YOU MATTER.  Not what you do, or how perfect you are.

YOUR SOUL.

YOU.

xoxo