*SERIES* “Love & A Photo’: Jodie and David

Jodie and David

Name

jodie & David

Age

jodie:  32

David:   29

Lifes’ Work

jodie : “to truly change 3 people’s lives for the better.” this was my goal when i was in grad school. not to save the world, but make a difference in the lives of a few.

David:  To impact the lives of others in a positive way, by providing support and joining them in their journey to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

What city do you live in?

houston, TX

How long have you been together?

almost exactly 2 years (10-20-07 = first date)

How & where did you meet?

jodie:  (embarrassed laugh) well, it was my friend’s birthday party. did i say 80’s-theme-birthday-party? oh yeah, i had my hair spray-painted pink and was dancing soul-train-style to baby got back (and yes, i realize this is early 90’s, but it was VERY LATE!)

David:  At an 80’s party, I remember her dancing to “lady in red” instead!

What was your first impression?

jodie:  good, i need more guy friends. J he seemed so serious—and passionate—the good kind of intense that makes you want to keep talking. (even though you’re going to lose a bet with your sister about what time you’d be home!)

David:  Nice personality & pretty face.

Describe your first date.

jodie:  he totally took control…called me up and said “meet me at empire café at 7pm.” we had dinner outside and talked about our pasts…moved onto a sexy-dark little bar…and then to a pub. it was like our own 1^st date bar  crawl—and he doesn’t really drink! some other time i’ll talk about the drunken would-be inventor who tried to crash the date…

David:  Empire Café, she was warm and friendly, we discussed life goals and interests. Then my Dating Coach Adam (one of my best friends who was texting me date ideas as the date progressed) recommended what he called “The Makeout Bar”. We sipped on some wine as we were grossed out by some upholders of the name. Then we moved to Sherlock’s Pub where we were harassed by a drunk inventor. At that moment I was able to see Jodie’s Social Worker’s skills as she got rid of him by ignoring him and taking me inside the bar to get another beer.

Tell me about the most funny thing your partner ever did to “impress” you.

jodie:  well, i’m not sure if HE did it, or rather he LET ME do it…but we were heading to hawaii for my sister’s wedding. a week of family & friends at the beach/pool and tons of outdoor activities.  he actually let me nair his back!

David:  Whatever, she dressed up like a dude* and rode a bus with me to Mexico to meet the rest of  my family and show her the world I came from. She was a trooper, by not complaining of the smog, overpopulation or  my grandmas’ cold tamales.

* It is dangerous for a white chick to ride a bus and cross the border to Mexico. So I guess we both did some gender-bending activities.

When did you know it was love?

jodie:  (note: i actually had to think hard about this one…we always talk about when we SAID it, but this question is very different.)  we were in bed one night and there were candles (totally cheesy, new couple stuff) and talking about “our relationship.” and i actually took out my journal and read him an entry i wrote about him. by the end we were both glassy eyed and i felt all fluttery…and i knew he had me.

David:  Everything happened so naturally. I was falling in love with her every day we saw each other. Then she told me that she adored me and I went and looked it up in the dictionary. I knew how I felt but realizing that adoration is greater than love, she made me comfortable to tell her my feelings on Thanksgiving Day a few weeks later.

Are you guys more of “perfect twins” or “opposite attracts”?

jodie:  i would definitely say that on the surface, if you didn’t know us you’d say OPPOSITES. but anyone who takes the time to truly get to know us would be much more likely to say twins. our souls are the same, and when it comes to the things that are important to us—we are very much alike.

David:   Very similar personalities, but expressed in different ways.

Retell the coolest travel adventure that you have taken together.

jodie:  wow, that’s tough. you couldn’t have asked for the top 5? the coolest would have to be our most recent trip…to greece. we had no recommendation for the island we picked, just one night of internet research and we booked the hotel blind. we didn’t do any further planning, not even a guide book until we got off the ferry in milos and walked into the tourist center. every day was an adventure…especially the one with the tiny rental car and not enough cash to pay for the gas we pumped. ah, the memories…

David:  MILOS

How do you share your creativity/gifts with the world?

jodie:  as a social worker, i’d like to think my gift is compassion…every day i meet with patients who just need someone to listen. and most recently, i’ve entered the blogosphere…you can see my art/photos at http://jodiekim.blogspot.com

David:   Making art

What was your first disagreement about?

jodie:  probably the dishes. i was living with my sister when we met and she is VERY particular about cleaning…

David:  How to hold a spoon.

What do you do after a ‘fight’?

jodie:  kiss & make out up. is there any other option?

David:   Fight more

jodie:  okay, he’s right.

Have you faced any adversity? If so, and you care to share- what…

jodie:  the hardest thing i’ve ever had to face was the murder of my sister & brother-in-law. it has been a long journey since that day 5 years ago…and it has shaped every bit of who i am and how i live my life today.

David:  Had to move out of our first house after foreclosure. (Jodie’s addendum: We were renting)  Oh, I thought it was an adversity together.

Describe your love journey in 3 words.

jodie:  natural.passionate.surprising.

David:  Toku (conflict & opportunity), Hessed (loving-kindness), Pachanga (party-time).

For the marrieds, how has life changed since you got hitched?

jodie:  i have doubled tripled the amount of laundry i do in a week.

David:   For the better…

BONUS QUESTION:  What is your favorite beverage?

jodie:  my homemade mojitos, no question.

David:   Mexican coffee from Manuel’s or Blue Moon

here is a painting we created together and ended up as our wedding invitation…

If you want more info about or to sign up for the Love & A Photo Project go here: Love & A Photo: A Glance

*SERIES* “Love & A Photo”: Heather and Marcel

Marcel and Heather

Name

Marcel & Heather

Age

Marcel: 44

Heather: 43

Lifes’ Work

Marcel: I get a sense of satisfaction when I help people – eg. teaching, offering hospitality, volunteering at school and for my daughters’ soccer teams.

Heather: I see my mission in life as a leader and encourager.  I really love to help people recognize their giftedness and pursue excellence in the way they offer that giftedness to the world.

What city do you live in?

Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

How long have you been together?

Marcel: too long…. Hahaha.  Just kidding.

Heather: We met 19 years ago and started dating almost right away. For 16 of those we’ve been married.

How & where did you meet?

Marcel: We met at a bar on sort of a blind date. My cousin introduced us.  A few of us went out together to a bar where they were playing weird Ska music. I was designated driver that night, so I didn’t drink, though Heather had a few drinks. We went out for coffee later and had good conversation and a lot of laughs.

Heather: I was working with his cousin at the time, and I guess he had a sense that we’d get along. He knew we both liked to engage in good conversations – about politics, philosophy, the meaning of life – you know, the deep stuff. We made plans to get together at a bar one night. My roommate at the time came along as my back-up. It was the night before my 24^th birthday.

What was your first impression?

Marcel: I thought she was very intelligent but had a hard time dancing.

Heather: Yeah, I’m a lousy dancer and he’s got natural rhythm. Plus Ska music is pretty hard to dance to. My first impression at the bar was that he was pretty shy, but then when we got to the coffee shop, he started cracking a lot of jokes and I realized how funny he is.  He’s been making me laugh every since.

Describe your first date.

Marcel: We went out for coffee and talked and laughed. I found out my roommate hadn’t given me the message that Heather had called earlier in the week.

Heather: I was a little nervous, because I’d made the bold (for me) move of trying to call him after the night we met, but then he didn’t return my call. A week or so later, he finally asked me out for coffee. It wasn’t a big deal, but I remember it being quite relaxed and comfortable and I felt like I could be myself with him.

Tell me about the most funny thing your partner ever did to “impress” you.

Marcel: She laughed at all my jokes.

Heather: Early in our dating life, he wanted to impress me with his cooking skills.  He made a great meal of steak and potatoes, which I ate and pretended to enjoy, but the truth is, I don’t really like steak. It’s not that funny, but I do remember how nervous he was, especially when he realized the wine he’d put in the freezer to chill had frozen.  The great thing is, he’s been cooking for me ever since, and he still impresses me, but he doesn’t freeze the wine anymore. Or cook me steak.

When did you know it was love?

Marcel: After the second time we broke up.

Heather: I remember the time he told me he loved me and I was kinda freaked out because I wasn’t ready for it yet. For the next few weeks, I knew he really, really wanted me to say I loved him too, but it took me a little longer – maybe a month or so. I do remember how horribly much I missed him after I dumped him though. (He’d dumped me the first time – I just had to balance things out.)

Are you guys more of “perfect twins” or “opposite attracts”?

Marcel: I’d say opposites attract. Yin and yang. We complement each other.

Heather: Yeah, we’re mostly opposites. We have different tastes in almost everything – movies, music, books, etc. He’s a real history buff and I get a little bored with that stuff. But the one way we’re more like twins is that we’ve always been able to have really great conversations. And when it comes to our values, our politics and the way we raise our children, we’re pretty similar.

Retell the coolest travel adventure that you have taken together.

Marcel: We flew to Montreal and then rented a car to drive to Quebec City. It was amazing. We saw a lot of cool stuff, we talked, we laughed, we had great sex. We learned a lot about the history of the region, we laughed some more… and did I mention the great sex?

Heather: I agree – Quebec City was amazing.  We just connected on this really deep spiritual (and yes, sexual) way that was amazing. We’d already been married 10 years by then, and yet we discovered new things about each other and fell in love all over again. It helped that we got some time away from the kids.

How do you share your creativity/gifts with the world?

Marcel: I try to make people laugh.  But I don’t think I’m very creative.

Heather: I dabble in all kinds of creative stuff – writing, photography, painting. I get really restless when I don’t have a project on the go, and Marcel laughs at me when I get that “project focus” and the rest of the world melts away. Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time building a new creative venture at www.whatareyougivingaway.com where I want to engage people in meaningful discussions about what it means to embrace and share their giftedness. I want to do lots of writing, speaking, and workshops on that topic.

What was your first disagreement about?

Marcel: I think it was once at a party when I’d drunk too much and… according to my wife… I was a bit of an idiot.

Heather: It might have been the party – he does tend to get pretty rude when he drinks too much, but thankfully that’s a pretty rare occasion. The thing we seem to fight about the most is my driving skills. He takes great skill in his driving ability (he used to drive professionally) and likes to give me pointers when I drive. Let’s just say I don’t take his advice kindly.

What do you do after a ‘fight’?

Marcel: Make up. Go for coffee. Have make-up sex.

Heather: I usually want to get over fights really quickly, so I push him to get past them.  But he takes more time than I do to resolve things. I’m learning to just give him his space. In the end, we’re pretty good at apologizing and trying to figure out how we can do better in the future.

Have you faced any adversity? If so, and you care to share- what…

Marcel: Yes, but I’d rather not share too much. We went through a few pretty tough periods. I went through a rough period at one point in our marriage. Plus we had a stillborn son.

Heather: We’ve had to cross some pretty major hurdles in our lives together. I was pregnant with our first daughter when he went through a pretty severe depression. Thankfully he worked his way through it.  Then in 2001, we had a stillborn son, which was really, really tough, but actually made our marriage stronger.  The other major hurdle was the sudden death of my dad, when I basically fell apart. Marcel was pretty close to my dad too, so it was hard on us both.  And lately, we’ve been dealing with the failing health of his dad.

Describe your love journey in 3 words.

Marcel: laughter, passion, kids

Heather: laughter, strength, friendship

For the marrieds, how has life changed since you got hitched?

Marcel: For the better.

Heather: We’ve really grown a lot together.  We’ve both changed and matured and learned the give and take of effective relationships. I think I was pretty selfish when we got married (and still have those tendencies sometimes), but I’ve had to learn to put others first – especially Marcel and the girls. I’ve also had to learn to rely on other people instead of being so stubborn and self-sufficient.  Marcel has grown a lot too. One of the things I really admire about the way he’s matured is the way he’s learned to take risks. Because of the way he was raised, he was pretty risk averse when we first met. But then, about 7 years ago, he worked up the courage to quit his job and go to university, even though he was already 40 and a lot of people thought he was nuts.

If you want more info about or to sign up for the Love & A Photo Project go here: Love & A Photo: A Glance

*SERIES* “Love & A Photo”: Christine & Scott

Name

Scott

Christine

Age

Scott: 54

Christine: 53

Lifes’ Work

Scott: Middle School Math Teacher

Christine: Middle School Office Manager

What city do you live in?

Summit New Jersey

How long have you been together?

Scott: About 13 years.  3 married,  1 engaged,  a couple confused, and a bunch  just as friends. I was really confused as to my feelings about her.

Christine:  about 13 years  3 married and a whole lot just confused and wondering what the heck was wrong with him because he would be just a friend and then it would seem that he wanted to be more than friends but that something was holding him back.

How & where did you meet?

Scott: We met when Christine came for an interview for the Office Manager position, which is in the office that I work . I thought that she was very pretty and I hoped that she would be back so that I could talk to her. She smiled a lot and had an infectious laugh.

Christine: My good friend Beverly was thinking of retiring from her job as the Office Manager of the Middle School. I came in to check out the position and to find out what the environment was like. I was introduced to Scott and thought Hmmmmmmmmm not bad. Being a single mom I was interested.

What was your first impression?

Scott- I thought that she was very pretty , had a beautiful smile, and laughed quite a bit which I liked and she had an enticing figure.

Christine What cute dimples when he smiles which he does often

Describe your first date.

Scott:  We went to the movies which was My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Little did we know that we would be having our own Big Fat Greek Wedding except not as many people that were named Nick. Then we went to a games center and she kicked my butt on the Go carts and now she does most of the driving when we go anywhere.

Christine: We laughed a lot at the movies and after I kicked his butt on the Go carts I thought that he would be upset but he just laughed. We later in the year took my son Theo to the Go carts and we both whipped his butt.

Tell me about the most funny thing your partner ever did to “impress” you.

Scott: I put my Hawaii outfit on, of  flowered shorts, Hawaiian shirt, long dark socks, sandals, a lei, straw hat, and a camera before we started packing to go to Hawaii for our 50th birthdays. I also would bring in little token gifts for everyone in the office and her first gift, just after she started working in the office was a chocolate valentine heart.

Christine: I started giving him Pez dispenser for the various holidays. The first one was a Frankenstein Monster .

When did you know it was love?

Scott: after we had been dating for a few years and I had to go away to a conference so we were away from each other for a few days and it just did not feel right. I felt like something was missing. I called her up and told her that I missed her very much and she agreed that we should not go on any trips alone anymore. So our next trip was off to Hawaii for our 50th birthdays. That was where I proposed to her. We had just been to a Luau and there was a ring around the Moon. So I figured that it was a sign.

Christine- When I could not stop thinking about him. When all I wanted to do was be around him so when we would go out to happy hour with a bunch of friends I would make my way around so that I could sit by him. I also would get him to dance with me when we went to weddings and parties.

Are you guys more of “perfect twins” or “opposite attracts”?

Scott: Perfect twins but sometimes we are like Jack Spratt in that she likes the crust of the bread and I like the middle

Christine: Perfect twins we both seems to think alike. I will be thinking of something and then he will start talking about the same thing

Retell the coolest travel adventure that you have taken together

Scott: Italy for our honeymoon was spectacular. The beautiful churches and the sculptures were breath-taking. The fact that someone could take a piece of marble and carve the statue of David with all its curves and muscle structure was just amazing. The beautiful beaches of Hawaii are something beautiful also. The soft sand between your toes, the sound of the waves lapping at the shore, the palm trees waving from the soft breeze, and the warm sun warming up your body. That is something very restful and it is even more romantic when it is the moon reflecting off the water. That is why I asked her to marry her on the beach on the island of Kauai.

Christine: We went on our Honeymoon a year after getting married and went to Italy. We arrived in Rome stayed there 4 amazing days. We went to the Coluseum and saw the ruins of the old part of Rome and wondered how it must have looked when it was a vibrant city. We took a car Through the Tuscany area for 4 days and arrived in Florence where we saw the statue of David and wandered around seeing various pieces of art and then took the train to Venice and stayed there for 4 days. The architecture was amazing. Went on a romantic Gondola ride around Venice through the small inner canals.

How do you share your creativity/gifts with the world?

Scott: I share my pictures that I take of the kids from our school with the kids and their parents. I have a great feeling of pride when I can give a parent photograph that captures their child doing something that they love to do.

Christine: i don’t have any but Scott says that i share my warmth and caring with each and every student that i come in contact with.

Scott:  Chris is a very caring and warm person. She treats all the kids in the middle school like they are her children. Last year at the end of the year a couple of the  eighth grade leaders at a morning meeting thanked Chris for all that she had done for them and said that she would be the person that they would miss the most when they moved up to the upper school

What was your first disagreement about?

Scott: probably about being on time for something or my driving

Christine: I don’t remember

What do you do after a ‘fight’?

Scott:  We give each other some space at first and then we sit down and talk about our feelings

Christine: We discuss it

Describe your love journey in 3 words.

Scott:  wanting, touching, caring

Christine:  laugh,touch, love

For the marrieds, how has life changed since you got hitched?

Scott:  I don’t have as much free time as I used to. I sometimes wake up and stare at my beautiful wife and am glad that I am with her. I thank God that he brought her into my life and I think about how much richer my life is with her. I love that she is in my life and that we can experience things together. Seeing the sun set into the tops of the cloud from the top of a volcano is much more spectacular when you have someone there to share it with you.

Christine:  I slack off going to aerobics!!  I am much happier then I have been in years.  I laugh at things as hard as I did when I was a young girl ☺  I am very blessed to have Scott in my life.

If you want more info about or to sign up for the Love & A Photo Project go here: Love & A Photo: A Glance

*SERIES* “Love & A Photo”: Kelly and Brian

Name

K = Kelly (aka Flying Mermaid)

B = Brian (aka B the Bike aka SequoiaFast)

Age

K: 32 technically. I usually feel and act like I’m 7

B: 32 and trying to age in reverse

Lifes’ Work

K: My day job is a writer at a clinical research institute. That is definitely NOT my life’s work. Life’s work = photography, playing with art, being the play leader, the one who is the first to get silly and play and encourage others to play as well, shining light

B: To gain knowledge and enlightenment, bask in Love, cherish friends and family, engage in creative endeavors and actively search out opportunities for adventure.

What city do you live in?

K: Durham, NC  -

B: Ditto

How long have you been together?

K: This is where our story gets interesting. We’ve been married for three months now, and this time around, we have been together for just over a year and a half. But we were together for a year in college (97-98). We didn’t speak or see each other for about 10 years. I googled him a few years ago, had to e-mail his boss because I couldn’t find his e-mail address..and about two years after I e-mailed his boss….he wrote back to me, in November 2007.

B: We have been together in spirit ever since we first fell in love. After being a couple for about a year we separated in 1998. We have always been each others ‘one’ despite our physical separation. I had a girlfriend when Kelly emailed me in 2006. I knew I couldn’t respond to her email, but I also couldn’t let her email go. I kept her email in my office desk and it traveled with me when I switched jobs. After breaking up with my girlfriend I worked up the courage to see if Kelly’s email address was still active. I contacted her in November 2007 and then told her in 2008 that I never wanted to be without her again. Frankly, she’s amazing!

How & where did you meet?

K: We met in college, through our mutual friend Chris

B: We met in college, but our first date was seeing James and the Giant Peach on campus.

What was your first impression?

K: I think I fell in love with B almost as soon as I met him. Funny, handsome, fun, silly, passionate, totally willing to be a dork or goofball like me, up for fun and adventures.

B – Kelly was quirky, funny and genuine. She was refreshingly honest at age when most people are trying to be something they are not.

Describe your first date.

K: We watched James and the Giant Peach at the college movie theater..the movie melted! The whole time, I was sooo hoping he would kiss me. We’d been friends for over a year at that point, and I of course always loved him, and waiting for him to want me was killing me!

B: I felt that both Kelly and I were nervous. I was not particularly suave in college (some things never change) so I hadn’t known that Kelly was even interested in me. It was like magic when the movie frame got stuck on the screen and melted. The universe gave us an easy marker to never forget our first day. I walked her back to her room after the movie and we kissed for the first time.

Tell me about the most funny thing your partner ever did to “impress” you.

K: I think of two kids in love, going out for a Valentine’s Day/B’s birthday dinner, underage, dressed up for a fancy dinner, ordering Strawberry Daiquiris and hoping we wouldn’t get carded!

B: I really don’t know. The truth is that Kelly is naturally cool. I know that she has done things to impress me, but I don’t know what because she hides them so well.

When did you know it was love?

K: I loved him almost immediately. I can’t think of a time of knowing B and not loving him and not knowing I wanted to spend my life with him.

B: Shame on me, but it has been so long that I don’t remember the exact moment. I do recall a night that she held me tight for hours on end to break my fever. That is one of the most memorable moments of my life.

Are you guys more of “perfect twins” or “opposite attracts”?

K: In nearly everything, we are perfect twins. We always think the same thing at the same time, we both love trying new adventures, we are both silly and dorky. And where we aren’t perfect twins, we balance each other well.

B: We are perfect twins. We enjoy adventures and lazy days. We can rock climb one day and have a movie marathon the next. In any room we are most likely to gross out the public due to our affection for each other. We will dance when the only music playing is in our head.

Retell the coolest travel adventure that you have taken together.

K: We haven’t had a chance to do a lot of traveling together yet. I would say our honeymoon to Belize was pretty incredible, lots of relaxing and exploring and photography (me) and videography (B) and water fun…and we both had some challenges on the trip as well, and we saw how well we help each other during challenges.

B: Our honeymoon in Belize was the coolest. It was my first time traveling internationally and it was our first real break after a year of busyness. We rode bicycles, swam with sharks, read and went to bed every night before 8pm. We reveled in uninterrupted time together.

How do you share your creativity/gifts with the world?

K: I am starting a photography business, I have my blog (my poor neglected blog that I haven’t updated because this summer has been crazy).  I try to dress creatively and fun, and encouraging others to do the same. I have ideas for children’s books that I want to write, I just need to work on them more!

B: I don’t have the confidence in my creativity to share it. I usually keep my creations to myself, but I hope to share more as I create more.

What was your first disagreement about?

K: Probably smoking. I hate smoking, have always hated it, and B used to smoke sometimes.

B: Ditto

What do you do after a ‘fight’?

K: I usually get really quiet and disappear into my head for a while, but this isn’t very nice or mature of me, I am trying to work on this and work on communicating how I am feeling.

B: I talk too much. I like to get everything out in the open to put it behind us. I’m working on letting things rest more.

Have you faced any adversity? If so, and you care to share- what…

K: We’ve had some, my mom has had some health issues, we’ve both had job challenges of feeling like we aren’t doing what we are meant to, I have some health stuff of my own that frustrates me, and I know that no matter what, B is my rock, my cheerleader and will always be there to help me back up and help me deal with what I have to do.

B: It was hard for me to leave my friends and family in NH to move to NC. I had wanted to move for a long time, but it was hard to leave my support network. Kelly provided me with a new home and encouraged me to maintain strong relationships with my past. She made my move successful.

Describe your love journey in 3 words.

K: Always connected. True love.

B: True Love Wins

For the marrieds, how has life changed since you got hitched?

K: I feel even closer to him. We are still learning our married rhythm.

B: Our marriage has made me happier and more comfortable in my own life. It feels like I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing.

Bonus Question: What is your favorite beverage?

K: Mornings, coffee, light and sweet. Oh for the love of coffee. Otherwise, water.

B: OJ for me

If you want more info about or to sign up for the Love & A Photo Project go here: Love & A Photo: A Glance

*SERIES* “Love & A Photo”: Christine & Marcy

Name

Christine and Marcy — Though Christine calls Marcy “Frog,” a name her grandfather gave her when she was two, and Marcy calls Christine “Monkey,” because she is, well, a lot like a monkey — a bit loud and jumpy around and when she is mad…watch out! 

Age

Christine is 40 and Marcy is 38

Lifes’ Work

Christine: For a long time, my own health has been my life’s work (as well as Marcy’s, sadly!).  I had a traumatic and frightening childhood and only at the age of 32 was I finally able to create the boundaries that I so desperately needed.  Since then, it’s been much more downhill in the WEEEEEE! kind of way.  I have known since I was very small that I was meant for a life of dancing and writing, and thankfully, I am now fully on my way to that.

Marcy:  It’s hard for me to answer this separately from Christine.  Our life’s work is our LIFE.  Like my blog banner says — art and mammals, every day!  Since we’ve met each other, we are constantly striving to create a life that is totally intertwined.  We do our best — emotionally, spiritually, and vocationally — the more we are together.  We are not one of those couples who needs time apart — actually that makes us grouchy.

What city do you live in?

We live in Erie, Pennsylvania, a small city on the edge of Lake Erie, kinda between Cleveland and Buffalo.  We graduated from the same small high school but did not know each other.

How long have you been together?

15 years this October.  (“Never long enough,” piped in the Frog.)

How & where did you meet?

We were both graduate students in the M.A. program in English at Gannon University.

Marcy:  When I first saw Christine, I thought “oh! look at that bitchy thing…so CUTE!  I want it!”

Christine:  That is totally what happened.  I WAS a bitchy thing.  That’s what happens when you’re totally sad and Frog-less.

What was your first impression?

Marcy:  See above!  But seriously, I thought Christine had the saddest eyes I had ever seen — sorta vacuous — but I could see sunshine deep inside, wanting to come out.  Makes me wanna cry thinking about it.  And now — SUN is COMING OUT!  We’ve had to work for that.

Christine:  Yep.  Really hard.  But it’s been totally worth it.  When I met Marcy, I was obviously self-aware enough to know she was the one, loving person who could really help me heal.  And I knew immediately that she was the kindest, sweetest person I’d ever met.  And wise.

Describe your first date.

Christine:  We can’t really agree whether it was a beer or a play but maybe it was both.

Marcy:  Maybe it was a drunken play!

Christine:  (Sighs)  I was married at the time and Marcy was a home wrecker!  (We are laughing very hard as we write this.)  Obviously it was a home that needed wracking (and my ex is happily married with lots of kids).  So for me, I knew it was a date, but I also didn’t know it was a date.  It’s hard to explain.

Marcy:  I didn’t think she could really like me.  I knew she was married, so I saw her as off limits though I didn’t want her to be.  By the time she was telling me I had the cutest teeth, I knew I had an in.  Mostly what I remember is being really, really nervous.   I could barely talk to Christine on the phone, but then she is kinda intense.

Tell me about the most funny thing your partner ever did to “impress” you.

Christine:  I don’t feel like we’ve ever been this kind of couple.  I used to think, having limited experience, that it was because we were a lesbian couple that we just immediately clicked in this very deep way and have always just been utterly honest.  Also, we find each other endlessly fascinating and are never ever bored.  But now I know differently.  A few friends — hetero and other — have told us it has nothing to do with our gender but just that we are who we are — and that is extremely well matched.

Marcy:  I did used to do that one thing to make you laugh!  I would put eyeballs on my chin and hang upside down and sing — covering my face with a handkerchief!  You know — so the mouth is working upside down!

Christine:  I am belly laughing just remembering that.  It used to make me click in my throat because I would laugh so hard.

Marcy:  She was so sad; I would do anything to make her laugh.

When did you know it was love?

Christine:  Pretty much right away.  I, um, left my husband, like, two weeks later.  But that has to do with my honesty thing, too — I wasn’t going to stick around lying.  Rip off the band aid and all that!

Marcy:  That’s a hard question for me to answer.  I don’t ever remember thinking it wasn’t love.

Are you guys more of “perfect twins” or “opposite attracts”?

Christine:  We’re both.  We’re opposites in that I’m an introvert and Frog is an extrovert.  She needs a bit more socializing than me.  I’m also really empathic and emotional — like BIG emotions — and she has a tendency to be veiled.

Marcy:  And then we’re also twins.  We tease that we can’t tell each other apart from each other.  We think alike, we love the same things, and we often feel the same about things — but then we often don’t.  Oh, dear, this is confusing me.  Us.  I mean, me.  Whatever.

Retell the coolest travel adventure that you have taken together.

Christine:  When I first read this, I was like “What!?”  Because I’m not the best traveler, to say the least, but then I remembered that early on, I was obsessed with moving so we traveled to check places out.

Marcy:  I don’t remember those as being good adventures, really.

Christine:  No.  Because I don’t travel well — like I said.

Marcy:  You would get angry because you were almost peeing your pants and there’d be no rest stop!

Christine:  HOW can there be no rest stop for like two hours!?!?

Marcy:  And then we’d see road kill and it would make me cry and we’d have to pull over so you could soothe me.

Christine:  Okay.  Make that, NEITHER one of us travels well.

Marcy:  We do however enjoy traveling to our backyard.

Christine:  And well, we like going to Chicago for big art exhibits.  Right?

Marcy:  Yeah.  But mainly we like to sit in the yard and PLAN trips.  That we’ll never take because you’re too grouchy and I get overwhelmed.

Christine:  Yep.

How do you share your creativity/gifts with the world?

Christine:  Just recently I decided to take my Blisschick work much more seriously, so I am hoping that that develops along the lines that I am thinking.  But obviously, I write and take photos and am venturing into yoga and dance more deeply and I’ve done a lot of creative writing teaching for adults.

Marcy:  I’ve been painting for about nine years now.  Wow.  Nine years.  Christine told me I should paint the second she saw the doodles I would make in class.  But it took a while for me to take that seriously.  And just in the last year, I started really writing again.  I say again, because I tried in grad school but got caught in theory and all that crap.

What was your first disagreement about?

Christine:  What?  That was a LONG time ago.

Marcy:  I think I remember. We were in a parking garage or something and Christine said something like “I wish people weren’t so fucking stupid…” and I was defending “people” and thinking “God! I DO have a lot of work to do.”

Christine:  But that’s what I was like then.  Not to say, I don’t ever say that anymore, but that’s just really representative of how sad I was.  I was so sad that I was angry.

What do you do after a ‘fight’?

Christine:  As we go along, this happens less and less.  We get better and better at watching our own reactions and trying not to react out of past experience.

Marcy:  Yeah.  We are getting better at “discussing” and “negotiating.”

Christine:  I came from a loud and violent family that fought to the extreme of abuse.

Marcy:  And I came from a severely repressed family that didn’t express any emotions, really, but especially the ones they would think of as “bad.”

Christine: So we’ve worked really hard to find a middle ground — where arguing does NOT turn into fighting but where we are still individuals with feelings that can sometimes be big and difficult.

Marcy:  After a fight, we tend to order pizza.

Have you faced any adversity? If so, and you care to share- what…

Christine:  That is a GIANT question.  If we hadn’t, we’d still be at the very beginning of our relationship, but recently, it’s been death.

Marcy:  Yes.  Death brings up so much “old stuff.”  That’s what we’ve been learning.

Describe your love journey in 3 words.

Christine:  Surprising.  Giggling.  Creative.

Marcy:  Fun.  Challenging.  Rewarding.

For the marrieds, how has life changed since you got hitched?

Christine: Well, as we all know, Marcy and I can’t be married, and this is a weird thing for me.  I’m not always certain I need that kind of social validation but I wouldn’t mind the insurance!  HA!

Marcy:  Why buy the cow when you’ve been gettin’ the milk for free!?

Christine:  Mama warned ya!

To see more of their creative pursuits & inspired writing you can find them at their blogs:

Marcy at Ordinary Enchantment & Christine at BlissChick.

If you want more info about or to sign up for the Love & A Photo Project go here: Love & A Photo: A Glance

*SERIES* “Love & A Photo”: Jonathan & Ev`Yan

Name

Jonathan

Ev`Yan

Age

Jonathan: 23

Ev`Yan:  21. I’ll be 22 in September.

Lifes’ Work

Jonathan:  Self illumination and illuminating others.

Ev`Yan: I am an advice columnist at my blog, askapricot.com

What city do you live in

Jonathan & Ev~Yan: Pasadena, CA.

How long have you been together

Jonathan: Almost 3 years.

Ev`Yan: We’ve been together for nearly 3 years, married for almost 2.

How & where did you meet?

Jonathan:  We met in Pasadena, after meeting online the previous day. Kind of crazy.

Ev`Yan: We met online. I was browsing through male profiles on Myspace, saw his, & immediately had to message him.

What was your first impression?

Jonathan: I thought Ev’Yan was extremely shy… she didn’t say much. It actually was to the point that I wasn’t sure if she was interested in me.

Ev`Yan:  I thought he was breathtakingly gorgeous! & then, of course, I noted his intellegence, his charm, & his humor. I was hooked.

Describe your first date.

Jonathan: We met at the spur of the moment; Ev’Yan drove down to Pasadena, which was about an hour drive. I think we were both a little nervous, but after a little while we both became comfortable. We went to pizza at Gelato Roma, a place that unfortunately has closed its doors since then. Three years later we’re still terribly upset about that.

Ev`Yan: Our first date happened a day after I first talked to him online. We ate at this cute little pizza place & then got coffee afterward. It was such a nerve-wracking date because we were both extremely nervous & head over heels for each other. But in the end, it was one of the best dates I had been on.

Tell me about the most funny thing your partner ever did to “impress” you.

Jonathan: Nothing I can really think of. Ev’Yan is a very genuine person.

Ev`Yan:  You know, it’s funny, but I don’t think Jonathan has ever done anything to impress me. I think he’s always been his genuine, charming self without trying.

When did you know it was love?

Jonathan:  After the first date.

Ev`Yan:  From the very first moment I laid my eyes on him — that being on our first date. It was instant.

Are you guys more of “perfect twins” or “opposite attracts”?

Jonathan:  I would say we’re more “opposite attraction.” I’m more extroverted, she’s more introverted. I like to go out more and Ev’Yan is more of a homebody. But we still have a lot of things in common. We’re both very sentimental, we both love music, writing and creativity, and we both can get down on some Donkey Kong.

Ev`Yan:  I think we’re a mix of both. Jonathan & I are very similar in the sense that we’re both emotional people. We take things to heart & we’re often very sensitive & passionate about things. At the same time, he’s a lot more daring, while I am more reserved & cautious. He tends to be a little inarticulate with his feelings while I can express them a lot easier. I think it works out perfectly.

Retell the coolest travel adventure that you have taken together.

Jonathan:  Death Cab For Cutie, Long Beach 2006.

Ev`Yan:  We haven’t had the chance to really, truly travel just yet, but one of my favorite small travel memories was when he & I eloped to Vegas on Christmas evening. We drove for about 3 hours when it was pitch black outside & we were both pretty nervous but very excited. It made for a wonderful adventure. I remember we stayed up until about 3am our hotel room, eating ice cream & Doritos to sort of celebrate our newlywed-ness. It was so much fun; I’ll never forget it.

How do you share your creativity/gifts with the world?

Jonathan:  I write about self-development and living on your own terms. I try to make self-development more accessible to the “unconventional” crowd. I give people tools and help people shift their perspectives to live more authentically and effectively.

Ev`Yan:  Jonathan & I are both writers. He gives the world his wisdom of personal development & strategies of how to liberate yourself, & I give people advice on my advice blog. I was a little resistant at first to have us both be writers, but now I feel so blessed that he & I have something that connects us. He edits my articles, I edit his. He gives me critique & pushes me in the right direction, & I encourage him to take risks in his work. We make a good team.

What was your first disagreement about?

Jonathan:  I have no idea.

Ev`Yan:  Believe it or not, the very first that I can remember was a tiff we had at a grocery store. He wasn’t putting the produce in those little plastic baggies, & I was mad because he was telling me that doing that wastes plastic. We got into an argument over that! It was so stupid, but I think it shows that I wasn’t quite used to his ways of being environmentally conscious. Eventually, I got used to it & now I am a vegetarian, environmentally conscious freak myself.

What do you do after a ‘fight’?

Jonathan:  I usually try to makeup, but that often makes it worse. Ev’Yan needs her space after a disagreement, so I’ve learned that it’s better if I just let her cool off and come to me afterward.

Ev`Yan:  I try to keep my distance, because it takes me a little while to cool down. (I’m stubborn & I tend to let the anger steep in me for longer than it should.) Jonathan, on the other hand, wants to make up immediately, & often fights so lovingly & fair that it makes me even more angrier! He’s the type of person that will say, mid-fight, “I love you.” That is one thing I’m still trying to get used to, because when I’m angry, I’m angry! I can’t switch emotions so easily.

Have you faced any adversity? If so, and you care to share- what…

Jonathan:  We’ve both had our share of issues, some together and some separate. We always work through them together and support each other. I think we take it seriously that we are each others best friends and have the other persons back no matter what.

Ev`Yan:  We’ve faced a lot of hardships early on in our relationship. Quite specifically, his overdose on cocaine. It was one of the most traumatizing experiences of my life, but one that made our relationship stronger & wiser. If I had the choice to take that all back, I would decline. I really think that if his overdose never happened, we wouldn’t have as much strength & love in our relationship.

Describe your love journey in 3 words.

Jonathan:  Growth. Trust. Sharing.

Ev`Yan:  Whimsical & never ceasing.

For the marrieds, how has life changed since you got hitched?

Jonathan:  More than anything it’s provided a sense of stability and foundation. I feel rooted and take comfort in knowing that I will always have my wife by my side.

Ev`Yan:  I think our devotion to each other has deepened, but marriage isn’t the only thing attributed to that. Our relationship has done a lot of growing over the years, & that kind of growth would have happened anyway, regardless of marriage. But I do think that our relationship has a stronger meaning now that we’re married. We certainly walk a little taller as husband & wife, & it’s because we love being husband & wife. I still get goosebumps when I refer to him as “my husband.”

Bonus Question: What is your favorite beverage?

Jonathan:  3 shots of espresso w/ soy milk (over ice)

Ev`Yan: I love Tazo passion tea.

*Bonus Links*

US (the story of how they met in her words)

16 things I have learned from being married

14 things I am still getting used to in marriage

If you want more info about or to sign up for the Love & A Photo Project go here: Love & A Photo: A Glance

*SERIES* “Love & A Photo”: Darrah & Jason

Name:

Darrah: Darrah (rhymes with Sarah)

Jason: Jason (rhyme: hasten Jason, bring the basin, urp, slop, bring the mop)

Darrah: I’ve never heard that rhyme in my life, but I like it.

Jason: BOOM!

Age:

Darrah: 31 baby!

Jason: 41 going on baby.

Lifes’ Work:

Darrah: Shoe shopper. Mac ‘n’ cheese eater. Professional nap taker. In all seriousness, I’m not sure I have an answer to this question. I think we all want to figure out what our life’s work is, but that can be a lot of pressure. I’m choosing to live my life creatively, drawing and taking photos whenever I can, in the hopes that it will lead to my life’s work…whatever that may be. One thing is certain: I am an artist.

Jason: Past – radio disc jockey. Present – spreading joy and love through music. Future – the search for the perfect sandwich.

What city do you live in:

Darrah: Seattle by way of Florida, Chicago and Boston. I’m happy to say I’ve finally found my home.

Jason: 15 years and counting in Seattle. Before that Boulder, Eugene, San Francisco & Los Angeles. I guess you could say I’ve been searching for my hippy wonderland.

How long have you been together:

Darrah: 589 days.

Jason: And 23 hours, 14 minutes, 17 seconds. Not that we’re counting.

How & where did you meet?

Darrah: About a year and a half ago, I had a profile up online. I had tried online dating on and off over the years and each time, I walked away more discouraged. This time around, I had no expectations. My life was busy, but I still wanted to keep my options open, so I posted a profile and went about my business.

Jason: About a year and a half ago I was recently out of a long relationship and had made a conscious decision not to date. I thought it would be good to take a while to get my own stuff in order first. After a Thanksgiving trip home where I was surrounded by my loving family, however, things changed. My aunt (in typical Jewish-mom style) took me aside and said I should go find a girl with “healthy ovaries”. I couldn’t deny her logic. On the way home I made a list of what I was looking for, which had only three criteria on it: she had to be Jewy, but not too Jewy; she had to love her family; and she had to have healthy ovaries. I decided to give the online dating one more try, and the first profile I found was Darrah’s. She was everything I was looking for (I guess the ovary thing was an assumption on my part, but so far so good).

Darrah: Isn’t he romantic?….So there I was going about my business when I got a message from a guy whose username was “JazzyJ”. JazzyJ? Really? He couldn’t have picked a cooler name? In any case, I read his message and he explained that he signed up for the dating service just so he could email me. Even though this could be taken as a cheesy pick-up line, I could tell right away that this guy was genuine.

Jason: It was a cheesy pick-up line, but it also happened to be true! I paid my $20 bucks and sent one, count ‘em, ONE email. Boom. Best $20 I ever spent. But I didn’t have a profile up yet, so I emailed her back and gave her a link to my website (http://www.jasonparkermusic.com, for those of you looking to book a jazz band) saying, “You’ll learn more about me here than on a profile”.

Darrah: Seriously, dude. Did you just link to your website?

Jason: Someone’s gotta work in this family!

Darrah: Whatevs. Anyhooo…When I looked at his website, I found out that he is a musician and he teaches at the place where I work during the summers. I had just gotten a promotion to manage the education programs, so I didn’t know all of the teachers yet. When I got to work the next day, I found out who Jason was and that he would be reporting to me. I emailed him right away and told him about this crazy coincidence. He said:

Jason: “Wait, you’re my boss?”

Darrah: And I said, “Don’t you ever forget it!”

Jason: She hasn’t let me yet. To make an already-too-long story longer, she agreed to go out with me anyway, and I worked my charms on her. So far so good.

What was your first impression?

Darrah: Distinguished. Warm. Funny. Familiar…almost like we could be related. I later found out that the distinguished part was just a front.

Jason: Hottie! In a “I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old dad” sort of way.

Darrah: Eewwww…creepy!

Describe your first date.

Darrah: We met at a coffee shop that’s inside a bookstore. We had a surprisingly candid and open conversation for a first date – something that I really appreciated. I think we knew things by the end of the first date that you’re not “supposed” to share on a first date. We didn’t follow any rules and were just genuinely ourselves.

Jason: How much more “distinguished” can you get than a freakin’ bookstore??? I even bought her a Grace Paley book, much to the chagrin of my older brother who told me “NEVER bring a gift on a first date.” But I have my methods.

Darrah: It was sweet. It could have come across the wrong way, but it just goes to show you that rules don’t apply when you’ve found the right person.

Tell me about the most funny thing your partner ever did to “impress” you.

Darrah: I’m not sure how funny it is, but I can tell you a sweet thing he did to impress me. About three weeks into our relationship (and already head-over-heels for each other), I left my apartment one morning to head to work. When I got to my car, I found a mix CD tucked in the door handle. Apparently, he had left it there in the middle of the night. The first song was “Just in Time” by Sarah Vaughan. I listened to the CD all the way to work and must have looked like a hot mess when I arrived with tears streaming down my face.

Jason: Damn I’m good. But wait, there’s more. About a week later I came home after a gig one night to find a mix CD on my doorstep. Each song was more meaningful than the last, some she couldn’t possibly have known had meaning for me. By the end of the CD I got back in my car and drove straight to her apartment across town. See the next answer for the rest of the story.

When did you know it was love?

Darrah: The night I was putting together Jason’s mix CD, I was listening to him DJ on a local jazz station. It was as if he was playing each song for me.

Jason: I was.

Darrah: Awwww…(are you guys getting nauseous yet?) Anyhooo…at one point, he was announcing the next song and I think I said out loud, “I love that man.”

Jason: By the time I got to the end of the mix CD and Willie Nelson was singing “Rainbow Connection” there was no doubt in my mind.

Darrah: If you’re keeping track, we knew we were in love after three weeks of knowing each other. Maybe even sooner.

Are you guys more of “perfect twins” or “opposite attracts”?

Darrah: Perfect twins. Seriously, we look like we could be siblings.

Jason: Ew? But she’s right. Twins.

Retell the coolest travel adventure that you have taken together.

Darrah: I think it would have to be the story of how Jason proposed. I’m going to let him tell it.

Jason: Gee thanks. I took Darrah to San Francisco a few months after we met. We were driving across the Bay Bridge at midnight coming in from the Oakland Airport. When we got to the tollbooth, the guy asked me “Have you given her a ring yet?” and when I said no he proceeded to lean out of the booth, take both of our hands, and perform a marriage ceremony right there in the middle of the bridge! Fast-forward exactly one year later. I take Darrah back to SF, back across the bridge, and at the tollbooth I laid the rock on her! Boom.

Darrah: BOOM, indeed.

How do you share your creativity/gifts with the world?

Darrah: Currently, I’m taking a lot of photos, drawing when I can, and sharing my creative process on my blog: http://artcetera.squarespace.com.

Jason: I play music 2-3 nights a week, teach music classes to kids of all ages, and write about the life of a working musician on my blog: http://oneworkingmusician.com.

What was your first disagreement about?

Darrah: I don’t think we’ve had any disagreements to speak of. We established early on a spirit of open communication and compassion.

Jason: Ditto.

What do you do after a ‘fight’?

Darrah: Seeing that we don’t really fight, I’m going to guess what I’d do after a fight. Go shoe shopping? Eat mac ‘n’ cheese? Take a nap?

Jason: S-E-X.

Darrah: Isn’t he romantic?

Describe your love journey in 3 words.

Darrah: Mac ‘n’ cheese.

Jason: S-E-X.

For the marrieds, how has life changed since you got hitched?

Darrah: We’ll have to get back to you on this one. We’re getting married on September 6^th!

Jason: Expect a 12-page treatise on September 7^th.

Bonus Question: What is your favorite beverage?

Darrah: Iced vanilla soy latte, please.

Jason: Iced shot in the dark (can you tell we’re from Seattle???)

Darrah & Jason: Thanks, Melly, for giving us the space to share our story! We had so much fun answering these questions together. We’re even considering handing this out at our wedding! J

If you want more info about or to sign up for the Love & A Photo Project go here: Love & A Photo: A Glance

“Love & A Photo”: MY journey

I don’t know about you but I am fascinated by how things work behind the scenes.   Even as a kid I would love to watch those features on special FX, life on set, etc.  Anything to see how “it works”.

Now that I am an adult, when I work on a movie & then see the finished product I am no less impressed by the ‘magic’ that gets spun to create a story to entertain people.

It comes from collecting a little bit each day.  Piecing things together.  We have a saying in the biz:  there’s the movie you shoot and the movie that gets released.

With that, every so often I wanted to check in with you & share just what I am learning along the way of this amazing project.  I think that is half of the fun, right?

So what does a girl who is single have to say about love?  At this point, not a lot. This is where I listen.  This project is about me learning & taking in each and every story these couples share with me.  Enjoying ALL the steps along the way.  I want to be like the silent partner in this process, other than these special update posts (for now, at least. I do have a dream that is in its baby stages).  I think their words will speak for themselves.  Back to what I was saying…

I have this weird habit that within minutes of meeting someone I like to ask how they met their significant other. Usually, once they get over a little bit of the surprise of me asking, they launch into some delectable story about fate, circumstance, coincidence, knowing, or some variance.  It is ALWAYS unique & kind of custom made for the couple; like how they met is what they needed or suited their personalities.

side story:  I have one set of friends that absolutely did not “like each other” but often found themselves in group get together situations.  One day they went hiking and she was walking behind him & it just hit her. She wanted more.   After that, it was pretty much inevitable since it turns out he had a secret crush on her for the 2 years they knew each other. That is the mystery that confounds & delights me.

What am I finding?

Well, people are so excited to share their story of how they met and journeyed to love with their partner. I get to glimpse just how incredible each love pairing truly is.  It’s the most amazing experience to be trusted enough to share these tales. I have read and re-read each one. I want to offer up some cool lessons or tidbits that stuck out to me & that I will carry in my heart!

6 simple lessons of my “Love & A Photo” Journey

1)  There is no formula.  The biggest thing that I took away from Brandi & Jason’s story (besides the fact those two peeps are pretty damn sweet AND funny!) is that love doesn’t have a blueprint.  It looks different for everyone.  Never let someone tell you how your love story should look.

2) Love can come when you least expect it. I think of Connie & Hansel meeting at his work where he made her this awesome salad. I mean, come on, what are the odds? That is so cool!  Let yourself receive that love.

3) True Love can come a second time around (Claudia & Paul). I adore Claudia. I met her over a year ago, and her honesty, frankness, and total devotion to living enamores me. She is full of joie de vivre!

I did not know that she was married before. I was too. For me, it was the kind of relationship where maybe youth and insecurities played against us. Not a good pairing. I wondered for a long time whether love would happen for me a second time around.  If I ever doubted, their story told me, it can!

4) When it comes to a ‘fight’, love the person more than your ego. That was something said by Jeff (of sherri & jeff), and it pierced me to the core.  I think back on some of my past relationships and how much it would have benefited me to have that mind. Also that communication is key.  Now HOW you do that is completely up to you!

5)  ”Love is friendship on fire”.  I must say with Noah & Leah being my ‘youngest’ (in time together) couple I was pretty excited to get a new perspective.  What I was left with that friendship builds love.  Enjoying & being there for your partner.

6) This is from me, a single girl…here goes…to love, it takes putting yourself out there for people to see.  You can’t hide your sparkle (or the not-so- sparkly bits)! They make you, YOU!  Be real with peeps.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Some spare thoughts:

When you start a project like this you might be tentative, maybe even scared that people will reject your idea.  You know what?

I’ll be totally honest because that is how I roll.  That hasn’t happened.  The peeps around me not only embrace it, they fully support me.  I have people that email to give me ideas of who I can ask or give their time to take part.  They visit & tell others about my series.

There were a few that didn’t want to do it (for some good reasons) but they were so gentle with me, it was fine.

Another great lesson is be ok with making mistakes & gently accept when they happen.  The thing with trying a new project, is that you haven’t done it before. Which means, it’s bit of an unknown.  You have to build it. There will be guessing at how some things work. That’s cool.

Don’t go into ‘i-gotta-be-perfect-the-first-time-around’ mode.  It will keep you from moving forward.  Instead, make a plan.  YOUR plan.  Then follow it, learning along the way.  When you need help, ask for it.  All that is fine.  Just start!

*my spare thoughts are for the people who want so much to do something new or creative or whatever and just can’t move past the idea phase.*

So don’t let fear keep you from living out a dream or trying a new thing.  If you need extra encouragement, to get you started, come to me.  I’m here.  I will cheer you on.

You need to share that sparkle.  It isn’t meant for hiding!

edited to add:  I am a mushball over-the-top romantic.  I left that out & thought it was a tidbit you should know about me.  Just one of the reasons I wanted to do this series. *wink*

*SERIES* “Love & A Photo”: Leah & Noah

Name:

Her: Leah

Him: Noah

Age:

Leah: 25

Noah: 27

Lifes’ Work:

Leah: Creating. (Art, photography, websites, graphics, etc.) Loving. Teaching. All three, all swirled together.

Noah: Enjoying the world around me, appreciating those who make it special and living compassionately.

What city do you live in:

Both: Portsmouth, NH

How long have you been together:

Leah: Just over 3 months. (Since early April 2009)

Noah: 3 months going on 3 years (in a good way).

How & where did you meet?

Leah: We met at work. (Did you know that 60% of relationships begin in the office?!) We were both with other people at the time, but admit now that we had small mutual crushes from the start. Our friendship grew over the following year and a half.  His relationship eventually ended and we got closer as a result of my effort to be there for him and our very obvious connection.  And the rest, as they say, is… the present. Haha.

Noah: We met when she joined the company I was working for in September of 2007.

What was your first impression?

Leah: I thought he was cute, but he didn’t look like Harry Potter. (Two of my coworkers had claimed that he did, before I met him. Haha.) He was shy/awkward but nice.

Noah: It was a little weird at first. She was the only other female my age at work and I’d say we had some healthy awkwardness between us. We became friends though and in the year or so leading up to us actually dating we became work BFFs and were very close. I found it very easy to talk to her and share myself with her. It was apparent she was someone I could trust and who truly cared about those around her.  Okay, so that’s more than a first impression — sorry.

Describe your first date.

Leah: I don’t know what we consider our first date! We were basically inseparable from them moment we decided to start dating (in fact, we’ve only ever spent 2 nights apart, and he moved in with me less than a month into our relationship).

Noah: Hah, there was nothing so formal as a first date, but the time I took her winter hiking, before we started dating comes to mind… I’m an outdoor nut and tend to forget that the things I love to do are difficult and require skills and equipment I’ve acquired over the years. So, I took her on this hike in the snow, ice and freezing cold under the guise of a photo-venture.  We get into it and it’s cold out… and I start thinking… hmm, it gets steeper, icier, and more treacherous.  As we walked I considered that the trail I thought was mild was probably anything but to someone not used to hiking in the winter.  “Leah, how are you doing? How are you feeling?”, is what I’d always ask her as the pitch of the trail increased, as we squeezed through a cave, or as we strapped crampons onto our feet to help scale the sheer ice.  I could tell that this was all more than she had expected, but the answer always came back as, “I’m doing well Noah, just cold.”  She was a trooper through and through and enjoyed the experience for what it was worth, despite nearly getting frostbite. I spent the later portions of the hike and the subsequent dinner trying to warm her frozen and slightly discolored fingers. The food took a really long time to come out and we sat at a quiet table in the back of the dark restaurant.  It was the first occasion where we really spent time alone together.  Surprisingly that wasn’t the last adventure she’s wanted to follow me on. We’ve shared a lot of new experiences with each other.

Tell me about the most funny thing your partner ever did to “impress” you.

Leah: He’d never admit to doing either of these things to impress me, but there are two things.  One, I mentioned (on Twitter!) that I wanted to try geocaching, and when I went over to his house a few hours later, he’d “coincidentally” just learned about geocaching “the night before” and wanted to try it out. Haha. The second – just before we started dating, he decided to go vegetarian “for a week” to see if he could do it. (He could! He’s been vegetarian ever since!)

Noah: Burping? She’s good — she has skills. I’ve still got her beat though. (More capacity, she is wee/little/adorable)

Leah: I can’t believe I”m letting him tell that to the internet.

When did you know it was love?

Leah: I actually realized I was undeniably in love with him several months before we started dating – around Christmas of 2008.  It was later for him, I think.  Nothing in particular really spawned this in me – it was just a sudden realization. We used to say “ILU” or even “i love you” in a friendly/joking way before we started dating, but the first time he told me that he loved me for real was just a couple of days after we made things “official”. We were laying on my couch and I told him a story about something painful from my past. He ran his fingers though my hair and said, “I love you, Leah Dawn.”

Noah: I’ve cared about her and loved her for much longer than we’ve actually dated, and I think the recognition of actually being “in love” was obscured by the complications of life, the complications of working together and maybe a little bit of denial.  However, 2 or 3 weeks before we started dating we had a geocaching adventure near my childhood home.  Neither of us had been geocaching before and we had a great time enjoying each others presence and laughing at the absurdity of our GPS ineptitude, while spelunking around in the woods.  It was around then that I knew I felt something special for her and by the following weekend I knew it was love.

Are you guys more of “perfect twins” or “opposite attracts”?

Leah: We’re more perfect twins, though we have a healthy amount of differences. Once, shortly after we started dating, we spent an evening trying to come up with issues we disagreed on, and couldn’t find any.  Sometimes, we’ll be somewhere together, and he’ll say something about the exact thing I was just thinking about. We have a definite connection. Our differences are really in the form of food. I hate baby corn, he likes it. I love chive cream cheese – he calls it “devil paste”. Etc.

Noah: We are a little of both.  We have so many of the same opinions, interests, values, and feelings towards things. However I think each of us has another half which is the opposite of the other. A sort of “evil twin” or opposite which keeps us on our toes and keeps things interesting. I’m always learning things from Leah and find her artistic and creative sides endlessly interesting.

Retell the coolest travel adventure that you have taken together?

Leah: It’s only been three months, so we haven’t traveled together much! We did go to Michigan to visit my family a couple of months back. We drove through the night with our bikes attached to the back of my little car. While we were there, we went into Ontario, to this little town called Leamington, to go on a bike ride. That was one of my favorite adventures ever.

Noah: We went to Michigan in May to see Leah’s family and friends. It really brought us closer together. The 14 hour straight through drive each way, meeting her family (living and deceased), seeing the countryside she came from, and taking her younger siblings on bike rides and to the zoo are all experiences I will cherish for the rest of my life.

How do you share your creativity/gifts with the world?

Leah: Through my blogs, leahcreates.com and thehistoryofhumandesire.com, primarily. I have also shown my art at a (now closed) gallery here in Portsmouth. I’m lucky enough to be able to do web and graphic design as a full-time profession, so I am nearly always creating! I’m hoping to open my own gallery in 2010.

Noah: Huh? I guess I like to teach people things. How to enjoy the things I love.  I taught people how to scuba dive for a short time and see myself retiring that way someday, but really I love sharing experiences of natural beauty and accomplishment with others. Whether it’s hiking, rock climbing, mountain biking, scuba diving, travel or whatever it may be. Seeing, doing, and being a part of something special.

What was your first disagreement about?

Leah: We used to disagree about work stuff a lot, I think. He was my project manager before leaving the company we both worked for. He sometimes forgets that I know how to do my job better than he does. ::laughs:: But, we really only have minor disagreements, and we’re pretty good at talking them out. (He’s really passive aggressive, but he’s working on it.)

Noah: I don’t know — we really don’t have many.

What do you do after a ‘fight’?

Leah: Probably say “I’m sorry” a lot, because we both have guilt complexes! We haven’t had a major fight yet.

Noah: Discuss, make amends, and love.

Have you faced any adversity? If so, and you care to share- what…

Leah: Oh, plenty. Haha. The time around when we started dating was just an explosion of conflict and chaos. He left a 9-year relationship about a month before we started dating, and had to deal with what we’ve dubbed “the divorce” (he wasn’t married, but he and his ex own a house together). I left someone else (a guy I’d been dating for only a few months) because I knew I was supposed to be with Noah, and that was awful and heartbreaking and I felt so much guilt. A lot of people were really, really against our relationship and that was really difficult.  Then, we made the decision for him to move in with me about three weeks after we started dating, and a lot of people close to us had a big issue with that. And THEN, a few weeks after THAT, he lost his job.  It was a lot to deal with at one time, but I think we’re doing really well. We’re really good about being in touch with each other about how we’re feeling, and we’re both really committed to the other person’s happiness.

Noah: I lost my job in May and have been down and out about myself to varying degrees since then. I’ve been looking for work, but have had a hard time putting my finger on what it is I want to do and finding the confidence to go after it.  She’s there for me to help me talk through things and is a never ending source of support.

Leah recently took a huge chance and has quit her job to make a living for herself freelancing. Her previous job made her pretty miserable and now she’s doing things her way, on her terms.  I’m proud of what she’s doing and the chances she’s taking.

I don’t have a job and am not making any money (other than unemployment). She is working hard to develop client relationships, but doesn’t have the cash rolling in quite yet either. It’s scary, it’s stressful, and it’s wonderful.  I know we’ll get where we want to be.  We are each others biggest supporters.  We will do great things together.

Describe your love journey in 3 words.

Leah:  I’ll quote Robert Frost: “It goes on.”

Noah: honesty, warmth, openness

For the marrieds, how has life changed since you got hitched?

Leah: We’re not married, but we live together AND have a dog together AND share a checking account. That’s a lot for being 3 months in, hm?

Noah: N/A

Bonus Question: What is your favorite beverage?

Leah: Diet Mountain Dew. ::wince:: (I know diet soda is terrible for you… it’s a vice.)

Noah: Dr. Pepper

If you want more info about or to sign up for the Love & A Photo Project go here: Love & A Photo: A Glance

*SERIES* “Love & A Photo”: Sherri & Jeff

Name:

Sherri: Sherri Martin-Hutchins

Jeff: Sherri’s Man-Servant (Jeff)

Age:

Sherri: 32

Jeff: 36

Lifes’ Work:

Sherri: Bringing people cheer. But for my day job, I’m a freelance web producer.

Jeff: Me for the most part

What city do you live in:

Sherri: New Egypt, NJ

Jeff: New Egypt, NJ

How long have you been together:

Sherri: 3 years

Jeff: not long enough…  maybe 3 years and change’ish

How & where did you meet?

Sherri: We used to work together.

Jeff: We met at work.  We were friends for awhile first.  The job stunk and we both came out of bad relationships.  I think we ended up talking a lot about what we wanted out of life and out of a partner and the answers were very much the same.  It’s hard to find someone who is needy. Ok with you being needy, and still somehow a giver who lets you have space when you need it.  So we kind of knew all that about each other before we ever started dating.  For the record Sherri liked me early on but really stunk at showing it.

What was your first impression?

Sherri: He was so handsome, intelligent, and funny.  A killer combination.  I wanted to spend more time around him.

Jeff: Adorable….  I thought she was adorable.  She was dressed all professional and being smart but no matter how hard she was trying the adorable was just oozing out all over.  It didn’t hurt that she looked all shapely nice too.  I’m a guy we check those things. (the first time I typed that I typed thongs???  Freudian slip perhaps but spell check thought it was ok)

Describe your first date.

Sherri: We were out at dinner with a group of friends.  After dinner, the restaurant cleared the tables and played latin music.  One of our friends suggested to Jeff that he dance with me, so we did.  We never let go of each other’s hands the rest of the night.

Jeff: It was weird because it was a pseudo date that turned into a group thing and then into a date.  We were going to a happy hour with a bunch of friends.  We knew there were sparks and we had a very awkward conversation about going early and eating first but never really said “hey lets date.”  So we did and then everyone showed up.  There was drinking and dancing to Spanish music.  After we danced we were walking back to the group but Sherri never let go of my pinky finger.  Which was awesomely adorable and then we just kept holding hands.  I guess we were big on the no talking let it happen kind of stuff.  Later when we were walking to a second place I just attacked her face,  mainly because I needed chapstick but she thought it was nice so we have been sharing chapstick ever since.

Tell me about the most funny thing your partner ever did to “impress” you.

Sherri: I’m having a lot of trouble thinking of something he has deliberately done to impress me that ended up being funny.  I think that happened to me a lot more.  He has a great sense of humor.  Lately I have been participating in Jamie Ridler’s Wreck This Journal book blogging group.  Jeff has helped with some of the wrecking.  Just a few nights ago we made a video to post on my blog that involved gasoline, fire, and slow-motion running, all of which was his idea.  Silly me, I was just going to hold a match to a page, but he helped me step it up.  He’s a lot of fun that way.  Oh, and there was the time at the Chinese restaurant where he was pouring me a cup of hot tea.  Apparently the pot and the cup both became outrageously hot at the same time so he dropped them both and tea went everywhere.  A cute pair of old ladies at the next table said, “I hope this isn’t your first date.”  I think it was our third, in fact.

Jeff: There really is no limit to that. Most of the time it isn’t on purpose funny.  One of the first dates we had she invited me over for dinner and then cooked the rice and forgot to put water in it.  We both sort of  stumble a lot, but we enjoy it.  I think just in the first few weeks she threw 4 different food products at me on separate occasions.  She claims by accident.

When did you know it was love?

Sherri: I would think about him when he wasn’t around and think how much more fun whatever I was doing at that moment would be if he were there sharing it with me.  But when he mentioned he had corned beef hash for breakfast one morning, I knew it was love!  I haven’t come across too many fellow hash lovers.

Jeff: The first time I saw her naked.  How could I not love her after that.  Ok maybe before that.  We went to a park and we were having lunch (I did a lot of wooing back then. )  After we ate we were walking back and she just jumped on my back.  She’s little so I got to pull off being tough and manly, but I thought that I need someone in my life who just randomly enjoys life and goes with it like that.  Sherri just is that smart functional grown up who randomly pulls off playful and happy in a very genuine way.

Are you guys more of “perfect twins” or “opposite attracts”?

Sherri: I’d say we are something in between.  In some ways we are perfect twins. We both like to stay home and relax some times and go out for a night on the town other times.  We are both needy and cuddly and clingy yet like to have our own individual space, too.  That’s a hard balance to come by.  We are definitely opposites when it comes to sleeping patterns.  Jeff can get by on just a few hours, but I really like a good 8-9 hours of sleep.  He can jump on the phone or go straight in to work first thing in the morning, whereas I need a little more waking up time to be functional.

Jeff: Both. We are very much twins with relationship stuff and very much opposites with our own lives and personalities.  It’s like sweet and sour candy.  They may be opposites but with a whole world of possibilities they both choose to be candy.  Again for the record she is sweet and I’m sour.

Retell the coolest travel adventure that you have taken together.

Sherri: Definitely Italy.  We went there last summer for two weeks.  We hiked, we strolled, we made friends, we laughed (a lot), we ate (a lot).  We rented a boat in Capri.  We rode a local bus to Tivoli.  We looked cautiously at Vesuvius when it sounded like it might erupt.  Fortunately it was only a thunderstorm rolling over.  We exchanged vows in Rome, something we had arranged the week before we left on our trip for Thursday, July 24.  On our way to Rome Wednesday, July 23, we called the coordinater and asked if we could switch to that night instead.  We checked in to the hotel, spent an hour scoping a location, then got dressed up and met the officiant. A couple we met on our tour bought me Gerbera daisies at a corner stand.  We also gave them our camera to take pictures and ended up with amazing photos.  It was all perfectly last minute!

Jeff: We have many adventures but Italy was the best so far.  We got married in Rome and it was very us.  Awesome and simple.  We ran through all of the touristy stuff because we still wanted to do and see everything but didn’t want to spend the entire trip touring.  We mixed in day trips to out of the way places and relaxing days like at the spa in Florence or at the beach in Venice (Lido).   It was awesome.  I licked all of the monuments and Sherri still married me so……there’s that.

How do you share your creativity/gifts with the world?

Sherri: Right now I’m reminding myself about my own creativity.  I don’t have much out in the world, but I write a blog called Life After Web. I’m really excited about photography at the moment and brainstorming ideas on what to do with it.  Aside from that, I’m really big on hand-written snail mail.  One of the greatest simple joys in life is opening a mailbox to find a personal note amongst the bills.  So I randomly send cards and postcards to people.  Stickers are often involved.

Jeff: I sometimes draw or paint or stuff like that but I think mostly it’s more in my philosophy.  Which I hand out freely.  I have theories on everything and my brain spends most of its time working on them.

What was your first disagreement about?

Sherri: It used to be Jeff wouldn’t necessarily show up where he said he would be at the time he said he would be there.  It wasn’t intentional, he just wasn’t very good at estimating how long it took him to get ready, get distracted, get back on track, and drive places.  I used to be a very punctual person.  Over time I’ve learned that punctual is often overrated and Jeff has gotten better with his estimations.

Jeff: If we ever disagreed I must have missed it.  I am somewhat oblivious at times but I tend not to spend too much effort on disagreeing with Sherri.  I save it for other people and as cranky, manipulative, and opinionated as I can be Sherri gets papal dispensation from it.  If we disagree it’s philosophically and we banter more than argue.  I know she gets mad at me when I’m irritating or late but we don’t really argue about it.  She tells me, I agree that I’m an idiot and apologize for my unwillingness to change.  I told her when we started dating that I was rum raisin.  Everyone loves chocolate and strawberry but rum raisin you either love or hate and even if you try to pick out the raisins the flavor is still the same.

What do you do after a ‘fight’?

Sherri: One of us sticks our tongue out (almost like a dog does when he’s happily panting).  When one of us does that, the other one has to do it, too.  It started once early on when Jeff put his tongue out because of something un-fun we were talking about (probably work related).  I stuck my tongue out back at him and he laughed.  It’s been our rule ever since that if things get unpleasant, that’s how we break the mood.  It’s hard to be angry when you both have your tongues hanging out like idiots.

Jeff: We don’t fight much at all really.  We have a system. I get to be right and she has no choice… no we just don’t fight.  I like her more than my own ego and I think she does too.  If we start getting edgy with each other we stick our tongues out.  It’s hard to argue when that happens for some reason.  The other person just looks goofy and you have to let it go.  We also never shut up so we talk through almost everything before it becomes an issue.  Like saying naked when I know her family will see this someday.  I told her.  She said noooooo and I did it anyway.  That’s how we roll.

Have you faced any adversity? If so, and you care to share- what…

Sherri: All the time- ha ha!  I’ve learned there is always going to be something.  It may be big like family health problems, it may be small like different ideas about parenting.  It may be money, it may be work, it may be a perpetually broken dishwasher.  No matter what, there is always something going wrong.  Hopefully there is always something going right, too.

Jeff: Not really.  I think the transition from supporting friends to “Us” was a little testing.  You never know if when all the smoke settles if you still have things in common and the last thing I ever wanted was a life-long co-miserator.  We made the move to happy together very easily though.

Describe your love journey in 3 words.

Sherri: Absurdly crazy happiness

Jeff: Little Big Spoon (it’s one of her nicknames.  She’s little but she likes to be the big spoon.  Taking the time to know all of that about someone is a big part of who we are together.)

For the marrieds, how has life changed since you got hitched?

Sherri: It hasn’t changed much except now we have a perfectly good excuse for being cuddly and disgustingly cute.  We are now what we were before, only better, because now there is no pressure.

Jeff: I have totally let myself go.  I don’t even wash anymore.  No punchline that’s it.

Bonus Question: What is your favorite beverage?

Sherri: Just one?  Hmmm.  I suppose it would be ice tea.  Always refreshing and comforting.  To really quench thirst, though, a tall glass of ice water is the only way to go.  Ooh, and fountain cokes.  Those are the best.

Jeff: I have no idea…..  I like them all and in great abundance.  So does Sherri which is the first person I’ve ever dated who can go through 3 or 4 refills in one sitting.  I guess if I had to right now I would like a Snapple green tea with apple in it.  Later I’ll want a Gatorade and after that some Yoo-hoo.  Yoo-hoo is the best name though.  If Arizona green tea was called Yoo-hoo that would be my favorite hands down.

If you want more info about or to sign up for the Love & A Photo Project go here: Love & A Photo: A Glance

Next Page »