Joy Rebel Day: new beginnings

In honor of a very special day that a dear bloggy friend started called Joy Rebel Day I will be making this my first “official” post on my NEW blog.  Actually it is the old blog plus some. Mel’s bloggy world 2.0.

Brandi has started a Revolution of Joy.  It is one in which you MUST honor your inner joy rebel. She is one of the most real and joyful people I have met (even just through the bloggy world). While I can’t remember exactly how I found this wonderful souls’ website I am truly glad I did. Her words have not just brought me comfort but inspire me to live more authentically. She is a brave chick! (and my doppleganger, I am so not kidding Brandi!)

Today I give her BIG amounts of bloggy love because I know that Brandi has inspired lots of people not just me. She is one to watch.  Keep an eye on her. The world she is creating is one of love, artsy goodness, faith, perseverance, and of course, JOY!

Be A JOY REBEL!! Even for just today. Embrace it.

ps. That photo is one of her personal favorites (she is the master of that photograph). I LOVE flowers so I am more than happy to post it here on my blog. Don’t you feel like you can just lean up to the screen and take a deep breath of that luscious bloom?

pps I want to post this early so people can take part and this is my ‘bloggy love’ post so nothing new tomorrow folks! have a really sassy day.

It all starts with the first step.

In order to get the most out of this blog and give myself mini goals (which serve me very well as long as they are tempered with grace) I created this writing schedule.

As of 7/1/09 I will be posting as follows (this is also listed on the about page):

Monday: ‘Being Me’ post, this is a post about something that I am thinking about or have thoughts on.  It will be me pouring out my heart on the page for you to read. Enjoy!

Tuesday: Tips, tips and more tips. Just one a week so I don’t overwhelm. They will be helpful and give you stuff to build on. Any topic up for grabs. Down the road it would be totally groovy if I had guest tips put here. This is about ‘community’ for me. That is key. Seriously.

Wednesday: Bloggy Love Day, when I find a blog or item that is particularly cool and innovative, I will put it here. It reallly inspires me to see what other people are doing and build connection by spreading the delight!

Friday: Flower Friday, this day is my treat to you. I will be posting pics of flowers that I have seen from all over.  I think this day will be one of my personal favorites and one that I hope will make you smile.

Sunday: This day will be a potluck of topics. I want it to be a day that I post interesting goals or plans. Maybe even controversial ideas on current events. The sky is the limit with this day. I would eventually like to have this be a day where I answer peoples questions or a guest post.  That would be cool. A Q & A day. I like that.

Doggy tip #1

i like the idea of passing on nifty and creative ways people are being eco- friendly & making products that are actually very handy.

one such business is Molly Mutt. you should ‘CLICK‘ on over there and check it out.  Making duvet covers for doggy beds is a groovy way to update your furry angel buddys bed without breaking the bank! It also saves you from have to wash those beds every week to keep it fresh. They are so lovely.  Cute patterns that not only appeal to your dogs sense of style but yours. (dogs do have taste believe it or not).

Watch this: Whirlwish by Jen Gray

This is a deliciously clever and inspirational video created by Jen.
When i first saw it, I felt like my heart grew wings. Absolutely cool.

Care Giving: a lesson in humility

Just to give you a little piece of the story, recently I find myself in the position of taking care of someone who used to take care of me.  This woman is my grandmother (aka Gabby). Gabby taught me to read (and my great love of books!). Took me in the summers to the magical cottage and played water games. She baked me cookies AND made sure I ate well as a kid since I like junk food back then. I had a pretty serious childhood and with her she made sure I got to be a kid (I still look back in amazement at all the fun we had together)  She is a beautiful soul.  Someone I respect, admire, and love very much. Some of my fondest childhood memories have HER attached to them.  So what to do when I find I need to step up and take care of her?

I am this single gal who has been on this crazy ride of a life journey.  That said, I have never had kids or been responsible for anyone other than myself.

So this is a BIG change.  One that I will occasionally be documenting because I think this is a topic not many people talk about.  Most people tend to focus on the person who needs care often neglecting the caregiver.  Caregivers are expected to be selfless, loving, have endless amounts of energy, work tirelessly, and live solely for caring for the other person.

I’m here to say all that is a crock of shit.  Pardon me.  Not to be harsh, it is just not reality.  Yes, there will be days when you wake up and the sun is shining, you can cook/clean/give/love/play games endlessly and without complaint.  I’m here to tell you though, there will be the days where you resent the hell out of it.  When you think, why did I get this job? Why am I so sucky at loving this person who loved me her whole life? Am I doing it  right? Why can’t I sleep that well anymore?

Those are all very valid questions and fears. You are not alone. So rest in that truth.Take a deep breath. You deserve it. I bet you have been working hard, even if it is imperfect, you have. Let yourself off the hook of having it all together. Give yourself praise.  Take a minute and read some of these tips and suggestions.  It just may lighten your load.

BODY

This one takes the biggest hit when caring for someone else.  So pay attention. Everyday try to listen to what your body has to say to you. Eat your meals (not just quick little bites when you can, really savor good food. Eat nutritiously. That means more real food. Veggies. Home cooked savory dinners. Yummy treats now and then). Sit down when you eat.

Another facet of this is to try to do an activity that requires movement everyday. Even for just 10 minutes. It will serve many purposes.  The activity gives your body the exercise it needs and you will get a ’soul boost’.

This one may be hard since you are in ‘caregiver mode’. Pamper yourself. Take the time to do nice things for yourself. Whatever would give that hardworking body of yours some pleasure. A hot bath. A massage. Long walk. Dance class. The sky is the limit.

MIND

You may have thoughts like some of the ones I said at the beginning of the post. They probably won’t be there all the time so be sure to ‘guard’ your mind from the gremlins. These ‘gremlins’ will hit you when you least expect it.  You could be going along making dinner  for the person and next thing you know you can’t believe you added to much salt into the food! Then you start berating yourself for being so incompetent. It sounds ridiculous AND it happens! Trust me.

When you find that you are getting information overload or ‘gremlin thoughts’ are attacking you. #1) realize that thoughts are just that. They are no more reality than the movies you watch on TV. They are your minds way of connecting experiences and gathering information. However, it can go wonky occasionally. Let the thought come in, acknowledge it, and let it pass on through (this practice is MUCH easier said than done). #2) Write it down. Journalling has really helped me.  My mind clings to things as a way of coping or understanding and when I put it on paper it as though I am saying, “Hey mind, take a break? I got this one. Relax.  I will work with you to figure it out.” That alone is comforting.

SOUL

Realize that at the end of the day this life is not all you are. The sum of your actions is not all there is to YOU. You are a divine being. Beautiful and majestic. Equal parts of complexity.  I have found that when I get overwhelmed or depressed it helps to ‘feed’ the side of me that can be overlooked. The inner part.

For example, I like to take photo walks. I pick a lovely place outside and just walk around snapping pictures. It is embracing the big story of life. It is connecting with nature. It is relishing my creative soul. It is invaluable.

Connection.  This is a MUST! I am not kidding. Support should be a mandatory thing when you start taking care of someone. Much like the mommy play dates people go to.  Whether it be a group, or a trusted friend have someone to share your thoughts, joys, and struggles with. Besides, being good for you. It will give you the much needed FUN you need since tons of time can be taken up having to do all the ’serious’ work of caring for an ailing person.

This looks different for everyone. Try new things. Embrace traditions. See what brings you soul comfort, peace, and joy.

**As I close this post I want you to know, I am not a guru. Nor do I ever want to be one.  Read these words, take them in, and let the ones that help you do their work. All the rest. Leave. I will be sending you healing thoughts of love in your journey. You are never alone**

life is like no-sew curtains

Yesterday, I got down to business making the curtains for my room that I have wanted to for, well, at least a few weeks. (probably longer but i can’t really recall when i had the *bright* idea)

here is the thing,
even though my movie job revolves around clothes i have little idea how to sew more than a hem (and even that is hand stitched NEVER with a sewing machine…i do have one though because don’t all self respecting film set costumers?)

i needed a plan, everything works better (for me) with one. even if it is just a blueprint.
i found a link on youtube about these fantastic no-sew curtains.
i thought to myself, “this is for you” and “perfect”. it was and

here is what i learned in the process of making these lovely
gem of window covers:

it is more than ok to take the easy way
who says you have to make everything hard to make it worthwhile?

the journey is often more fun than the destination
as i cut the fabric, measured the edges, ironed the hem tape, etc. i got very excited! my vision was taking shape and that made me feel good. creating is awesome! each part of the process had the potential to be fun.

you MUST finish because when you do-that is your reward
even before the curtains were finished and hanging ‘oh so pretty’ in my window, it became clear to me- i finished them. that alone made me blissful! (and i had some really beautiful window coverings to boot) accomplishment is ‘food’ to the soul.

gifts are groovy
so thankful for the friend that gave me the beautiful sari fabric.

small things can create BIG joy
it didn’t take much to bring a smile to my face. find the joy in the small wonders.

life has many lessons along the way if you listen
let your heart speak and show you the way. it will.

be perfectly imperfect
if you look closely you can see that the curtains are slightly different in length. they didn’t come out perfectly. you know what? I didn’t care. i was proud of the fact i made them. ME. imperfectly. ‘nuff said.

enter my joy list

this post is spurred on by a terrifically amazing blogger, photographer and my ambassador of joy, Brandi. (she gets capital B because she kicks ass!)

Brandi has a blog called life is art which you should really take a peek at. it is a little slice of heaven. **she is also my doppelganger (she wants to be the crafty one, but i think she would find i would be the trickster!)

today she wrote a joy bomb post which lists a few of the things that make her joyful.

i wanted to follow suit. Off we go! Wheeeeee! (don’t you love when i act like i am 5 not 35- i can’t help it, gotta let the little girl out to play)

~supremely in love with all things nature. love sitting outdoors. taking walks. watching the world. nothing brings me back to center faster.

~my peeps: family, friends, bloggy pals, new acquaintances. i find joy in the connecting. learning about and being with people.

~not using any caps when i write- an absolute no capital rule!

~my new infatuation is jetskis. speed is good. wise speed.

~movies, making them and watching them.

~reading books

~drinking a nice glass of wine (preferably white since red gives me headaches)

~photo walks, although it has been awhile since i have partaken in this joy activity

~napping

~cooking

~trying new foods

~listening to- AND laughing out loud. the louder the better!

~watching ‘so you think you can dance’

~a smile

that is my list.
what is yours…?

jetski 101 and other musings

while on my latest adventure in the world of movies, i had the great opportunity to ride on a jetski.
for the first time ever, mind you.

IT WAS KICK ASS GOODNESS! Made me want to own one although that would be entirely impractical since the nearest body of water is more than a few hours away. (and that lake has been known to be a dumping ground for all sorts of things, so i am not too stoked to swim or boat on it!)

I would like to share a few lessons from the jetski:

** speed is fun but you have to know when to slow down. i learned that i like to go fast and that sometimes i don’t know exactly when to apply the breaks. the knowing is important otherwise you can end up in the water. (I didn’t but very very close at one point when i hit a wake that a boat kicked up). After a few minutes though i got the point of this magical contraption. Speed and caution go hand and hand. know the difference.

** nothing beats the feeling of being on the water with the wind in your hair. i think if i had a super power it would be the ability to fly. it is what i imagine complete FREEDOM to feel like.

**sharing is important. i rented the jetski for 4 hours and the other peeps all got a spin if they wanted to. doing new things is fun when others join in.

**i felt insecure off and on through out the week (can’t go into it on my blog but it wasn’t pretty-trust me when i say i truly am a work in progress however, i understand that i need to accept and love the imperfect bits. i just wish those bits weren’t so stinkin’ challenging. they like to come out and play mostly when it is not the least bit convenient) and yet when i was on that jetski, i just didn’t care. i thought very little about how i looked or if people thought i was a good costumer or how will i keep up with the likes of people who know so much more than me. that is an amazing thing.

**i like speed.

**i need to take more chances and try more things, imperfectly. not the “safe” risks. although i am a firm believer that there is nothing wrong with safe. you need both.

**it is good to be vulnerable. you NEVER lose. it is a win win proposition even if it is not rewarded with reciprocation. not every person will honor your open heart. doesn’t matter. do it anyway- keep your heart open, it will lead you to know when it is wise to do so.

**i desperately want to get more clear about my desires. specifically with my work. the film thing. choosing wisely and with not just money or my resume in mind. i choose to move into an active journey of releasing.

my releasing party started yesterday. it will continue for the next 7 days ( i know that it takes way longer and is more of a process, this is me starting). i will be decluttering, letting go, and simplifying
different areas of my life.

First up, the physical part: possessions, my world is full of clutter. So I will be going though item by item. Selling (on ebay or auction), donating, or trashing the things that do not serve a real purpose or bring me joy.

Welcome to the party!