weekend o’ bliss

GUESS WHAT?!?! you’ll never guess.
i am on the move again.
this time it is all about fun, fun,
and more fun. oh, and food…and hopefully
hanging with some cool
peeps i haven’t seen in awhile.

i am heading to san diego for the weekend
(maybe a few days more).
staying at the lovely Barona Hotel and Casino.
i hear really great things about the surrounding area.

quiet, nature-y, time with my mommy/gabs/and little bro
(as well as some side trips to see friends).
i love playtime. relaxing is one of my favorite things to do.
rest assured i am bringing my camera to capture
the good times.

melly’s sidenote-o-rama:

be kind to yourself this weekend.
try a new activity.
sip that cup of tea in the sun.
get that massage you have been wanting.
or eat that ice cream cone.
whatever would bring you a little dose of JOY!

ps don’t you just love hotel ‘glamour’ shots. i do

confession

i am lying on my bed writing this blog.
(if i used the wrong form of lay don’t tell
me because it is too late!)
it has come to my attention as i was doing my spring cleaning
just how much i live for others approval.
right down to keeping things i don’t like
in order to not be “judged” by others.

~~~(long story short, when i give stuff away…without
fail i will hear how i don’t really appreciate what i am given
or that i can’t hold onto anything…blah blah blah-
i know, their stuff not mine)~~~

i will even be known to project ideas and thoughts
that they might not even be having.
i call it
“melly’s mind reading trick.”
most of the time though,
it isn’t right and only serves to tie my insides into knots.
it also hampers real communication and authenticity.
both of which, i am learning just what they mean.
the real deal. scary AND COOL!

who knew that sometimes there would be moments
where the very thing that was binding you, is YOU.
not the other person. that person can think whatever they
want. it doesn’t mean the result is me bending and twisting
myself into a people pleasing pretzel.

without getting too introspective…i’m in charge of my own stuff.
how I react. how I behave. how I move through this world.
i long to do it with love, grace, magic, courage, and
real self acceptance.

the fun part is that is reveals itself in moments that
i would not expect.

my magic moment for the day:

re-hanging my beauty fabulous paintings/artwork from various
bloggy pals. i look at their creations for me
and smile.
the colors make me happy.
i like seeing the paint dance on the canvas.
swirly goodness.
words of love.
magical spirit rocks with words to inspire,
the heart of the creator has blessed my world.
i’m over the moon about it.

can’t wait to collect more.

realizing this…

because i am often moving, i tend to keep my
“life” pretty contained. recently though,
it has come to my attention that i have hoarded stuff
that i haven’t used or needed for at least a year.
so it is time,
to unload some of it.
to make room for new and good things.

a spring cleaning.

now i am not talking about special art or treasures
but you know the stuff:
hotel shampoos,
trial size of this an that,
makeup,
clothes i don’t wear,
books that sit on the shelf, unread.

in my mind, it is all about me trying to keep up with
the joneses.

I have always felt my best when i keep things
simple and clutter free.
very zen- like way of approaching things.

however through friends and family, i have heard messages
like “adults have possessions”, “adults have a house”, “adults
have kids”, “adults buy a new car every few years”.
and without knowing it, in some ways i found myself trying
to fit into that mold.
instead of trusting that i have my path.
and they have theirs.
and neither one is MORE RIGHT.
just different.
and beautiful.

we need all kinds of paths to walk.

i am in the midst of a spring cleaning as
i listen to james brown.
loving it.

ps also helping my Gabs with her stuff too!
seems like she is in the mood to “lighten”
her load as well.

each blog has it own

i read A LOT of blogs.
there are so many stories.
i treasure each and every one.

people who speak of art and magic,
people who teach you the value of
a dollar,
how to be single and love it,
accepting yourself,
being kind,
shame resilience,
and embracing your goddess.

all these people have given me
pieces of their wisdom and i love it.

time has come though to stop
comparing.

that i, too, have stuff to give.
words to say.
and while i may feel silly to share.
it is coming.

so to start…

every time i dance, i feel free.
my favorite song as of lately is
“get up offa that thing” by james brown.
he is such a rockin’ dude.
there is no better feeling than
getting your wiggle on.

this blog is me. for me and by me.
thanks for sharing in this journey….

xoxo

a poem by the highway

there is a feeling.
dark and twisted,
clawing…
working its way toward the light,
grasping, trying to hold on,
unable.

there is release.
stretching,
facing the truth.
searching for freedom.
unsure of what it looks like
but seeking anyways.
it is not far.

funny how life picks for you.

last year sparked a big change for me.
i started
dealt with depression,
read blogs,
met a life coach (very magically mind you),
created art,
started a new path in my work,
had a few epiphanies,
and some bumps.
it was definitely a year of GROWTH.

this year the word MAGIC picked me.
i had this assumption that it would look a certain way.
that i would walk down the street and birds would
chirp and sing around me.
you know, that things would glow with “MAGIC”.

instead it was in the little things.

for example, i believe the universe gave me what i needed:
i get a job, it is working on a lifetime miniseries
only this time instead of dressing background actors (which is safe)…
my boss wants me to take on some principals.
i’m scared to pieces.
why? …
because i didn’t think i could do it.
no, strike that, i knew i could but i was afraid of making mistakes.
(and boy did i, more on that someday.maybe).
needless to say, when it came to splitting them up (me and my set partner) they got picked for me…little did i know that the universe
conspired. I got 6 main people and some of the day players.
the actors i got were funny, generous, kind, and completely “right for me”.

I got the peeps i was meant to have.

They took it easy on the “new girl”.
They were patient when i overcompensated.
They were kind if i forgot things or just plain didn’t know.
They had a sense of humor (there is nothing better)!
They showed grace to me when i didn’t.
They were real AND FUN.

And for that, I am grateful. I learned. I was harder on myself then they were. That helped me to take myself a little less seriously.
A LITTLE.

I have this feeling that my work even though i try to keep it separate from my “real life”..is really teaching me lessons i need to know.

How cool is that?

How does you work teach you?

xo
melly

happy easter, peeps!

may this holiday
be filled with beauty and delight
for you.

welcome back

back in las cruces.
unpacking.
good to be here.

i like being here. it
feels relaxing.
like i can take a deep breath….

AND let it out.

more to come.

this blows

i had a friend/co-worker ask me to
help out doing something today by saying
“you’re single and don’t have a life or family, therefore
you are more able to do it.”

now lately i have been sort of isolated and yes, i don’t
have a husband or kids…but in no way does that mean
i don’t have a life or want to make some magic
happen. creating new adventures. making friends.

it stings every time she says it.

the key is, to hear and not take it in and
understand that it is not personal….

this is true for me

that even when i feel otherwise.
there is love all around.
i open my heart and eyes to it.

looking around…
what do i see?

ps right off the bat, two people on what looks to be a date.
flirting and having fun. how cutie patootie!

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